This ‘news story’ is pure PR, but it’s so pure in its originality that I couldn’t resist posting it on a Sunday when nothing more worthy has presented itself [ed].
“It's that time of the year again,” says Mark Hall, “when man flu strikes hard at the very heart of masculinity.”
Man flu is a debilitating disorder, he says, which hits without warning, rendering healthy males completely listless and entirely incompetent at even the simplest of tasks. The virus attacks the immune system 10,000 times harder than the common cold, and lasts nearly twice as long as a hangover.
Symptoms of man flu (men)
· Sneezing and coughing
· Hunger pains
· Losing the ability to see (except the television)
· Losing the ability to walk (except to the fridge and back)
· Inability to visit the in-laws for the weekend.
Symptoms of Man Flu (women)
· Nothing at all
Mark Hall, gentleman creation officer at socked.co.uk, the black sock subscription service for discerning gentlemen, commented: “While it is common knowledge that there is no cure for man flu, socked.co.uk, the high-quality sock subscription service for gentlemen, has conducted research which shows the following conventional methods exhibit the most promising results:
Wet socks
1. Warm your feet in hot water.
2. Soak a pair of socks in cold water, wring them out and put them on.
3. Put a pair of dry socks over the wet ones and go to bed.
The wet socks will help draw blood to your feet, thereby boosting circulation, which helps clear congestion.
Drink beer
Beer contains theobromine, a component that suppresses nerve activity responsible for coughing and has been found to be three times more effective in stopping persistent coughs than codeine.
Further research from socked.co.uk finds a lower rate of man flu in confident, well-turned-out gentlemen who demonstrate good manners, both toward their partners and the world about them. A socked.co.uk subscription is just the first step toward this healing process.
For further information go to www.socked.co.uk or contact Mark Hall at mark@socked.co.uk.
Don’t blame me—I wear white socks most of the time.
